Taking a Bite Out of Crime?
by lucidscreamer
Summary: Magnum's bite is worse than his bark. Zeus and Apollo are not amused...but Magnum is. Flashfic.


And now for something completely different... The following is a little Magnum PI fanfic I wrote back in 1995, in a fit of whimsy. It was supposed to be a longer story, but inspiration fizzled, leaving me with only this scene.

Disclaimer: Magnum P.I. is the creation of Donald Bellasarius.

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**Taking a Bite Out of Crime?  
**By Lucidscreamer

Magnum sipped from his wineglass and wished longingly for a beer. It was a deep, ruby vintage, and no doubt excellent (Robin Masters could afford the best), but somehow he just couldn't savor the taste. Given time...well, perhaps his untutored tastebuds would learn to love it. He'd been assured this would be the case, but he still had his doubts. About that...and so much else. With a sigh, he drained the glass. The glass itself was something of a consolation: exquisitely delicate Lalique crystal. When he discovered it missing from the main house, Higgins would have a fit. The thought was enough to spark Magnum's boyish grin as he levered himself up out of the deep cushions of the sofa, and wandered into the kitchenette. For once, he remembered to rinse out his glass -- though he did leave it in the sink.

Pausing only to scoop up his car keys and mirrored shades from the bar, he sprang up the steps and out into the lushly-scented tropical twilight. A soft breeze ruffled his thick brown hair; he inhaled deeply, just for the sheer joy of filling his lungs with the clean, salt-tinged air. Tucking his shades into the breast pocket of his florid tropical- print shirt (purple and blue macaws on a hot pink background -- Higgins hated it, so naturally it was one of Magnum's favorites), he loped across the immaculately manicured lawn to the main house. His sneakered feet made no sound as he ran, even when he stepped onto the marble chip and crushed shell driveway.

Fifty feet from the Ferrari, he hesitated. The friendly breeze carried with it the unmistakable scent of Doberman. Almost at once, he heard the patter of saucer-sized paws on the driveway, and two massive black shapes bolted out of the shadows. Zeus and Apollo, the zealous guardians of the Masters estate, were twin missiles aimed at his throat. They intended to keep him from his goal -- the Ferrari. Of course, Higgins would pop up at the last second, just in time to prevent them from actually attacking...At least, that was how the game was _usually _played. He smirked.

Not tonight.

Magnum stood his ground as the dogs barreled toward him, their sleek black hides rippling with every ground-eating stride. He could hear their hearts hammering in their barrel chests. Zeus growled, bared razor-sharp teeth as he gathered himself -- and leaped straight for Magnum's throat.

The startled dog yelped when Magnum caught him easily and, careful not to injure the animal, tossed him into a nearby bougainvillea. Apollo dug in his paws, sliding to a shocked stop in a spray of gravel, his mad little doggy mind in overload. _That wasn't supposed to happen_...

From the flower border, his partner voiced an embarrassed whine.

Apollo looked from his fallen comrade to the smirking human. He tried out a menacing growl...but his heart wasn't in it anymore. Apollo's stump of a tail twitched, as if trying to tuck itself firmly between his legs. He whined uncertainly and took a single, tentative step forward. Magnum bent down so that his face was level with the dog's. He bared his teeth. And growled. There was no doubt that his heart was in it.

With a yelp, Apollo turned and bolted back into the house, leaving his bush-bound partner to whatever fate awaited him. From inside the foyer, Higgins shouted -- apparently startled by the guard dog's uncharacteristic cowardice -- and no doubt heading for the driveway at top speed. Not that he'd get there in time.

Magnum straightened, grinning. Yep. There were some definite advantages to this vampire business. Whistling cheerfully, he settled his sunglasses on the top of his head, and sauntered over to the car. For once, Higgins hadn't set the damned alarm -- not that it had ever done more than slow Magnum down. He'd certainly never let it actually stop him from "borrowing" the Ferrari. And he wasn't about to start now.

The powerful engine roared to life at the first turn of the ignition key. Magnum grinned gleefully at the gesticulating Higgins in the rearview mirror and, the Ferrari's tires kicking up gravel, drove into the lingering splendor of another glorious Hawaiian sunset.

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The End


End file.
